Return of the Vulture
by Jonathan R
Summary: Snoopy fans know that sometimes he pretends to be a vulture. Well, in this story, Snoopy is at it again...and it's Woodstock who gets the last laugh.


Return of the Vulture

  
  


One afternoon, Snoopy was resting on top of his doghouse. He stared up at the clouds and pretended he was up there in his Sopwith Camel fighting the Red Baron. Normally, he'd be sitting up on his doghouse pretending to fly the plane, but today he felt like lying down and taking it easy.

As a gust of wind blew over his fur, Snoopy caught sight of a large bird flying around in the sky above him. It started circling above his doghouse. Soon, a couple more of these large birds joined in with the circling. Fortunately, these buzzards were too high up to be any real threat to Snoopy.

As Snoopy observed the buzzards, a familiar feeling began to creep over him. He slowly sat up and got on all fours. A glazed look was in his eyes as he hunched over in a threatening position. He felt hungry for meat. Or, more specifically, carrion.

"Snoopy!" called out Charlie Brown.

Snoopy glanced in his master's direction to see Charlie walking toward him with a bowl of dogfood.

"You're having an early dinner, Snoopy, so..." Charlie Brown stopped when he saw the leering expression on Snoopy's face.

"Good grief. Not again," said Charlie, who was well aware of Snoopy's vulture impressions. He decided it was best to just leave Snoopy alone for now. He left the dogfood on the ground and walked back to the house.

Snoopy decided to go elsewhere for some sustenance. He hopped off of his doghouse and walked until he observed Linus sitting in a field with his blanket. Snoopy crouched low to the ground and began to sneak up on him. When he was ten feet away Linus shouted, "You'd better not be trying to get my blanket again, Snoopy!"

Snoopy growled as the element of surprise vanished. Linus must've spotted him out of the corner of his eye. It was no use trying to take away his blanket now. Still, he had a backup plan in case something like this happened.

Snoopy paused for a moment, and then took a flying leap towards Linus. He flew past Linus' face, just inches away from his nose. Linus was so shocked, he fell onto his back and his blanket slowly floated down over his face.

Snoopy landed on all fours and continued running. He thought of himself as a low-flying vulture. He slowed down when he caught sight of a lemonade stand in somebody's yard. Upon closer inspection, Snoopy saw that it wasn't a lemonade stand, but was Lucy's psychiatrist stand. Snoopy walked up to the cardboard construction and read the front of it: The doctor is out.

Snoopy jumped up onto the stand and saw Lucy. She was asleep in her chair with her feet propped up onto the cardboard. Snoopy moved the 'Five cents' jar aside as he got into position. He stooped over Lucy with his glaring expression for five minutes until he got bored. It wasn't much fun when your prey was asleep. Snoopy leaned over Lucy until his nose was an inch away from her face.

Lucy slowly began to wake up. Her eyes widened as she saw Snoopy's face taking up her entire field of vision. With a loud "Aaargh!!", Lucy fell back in her chair as Snoopy fled the scene.

"You stupid beagle! Get back here! You owe me five cents!" shouted Lucy as Snoopy ran down the sidewalk. 

As Snoopy eventually slowed down, he realized that he needed to try and ambush some younger, smaller prey. His eyes soon beheld Sally having a tea party with some stuffed animals in the front yard. With an evil smile on his face, Snoopy began sneaking up toward Sally.

Five minutes later, Franklin and Pigpen walked by the yard.

"Hey, look!" pointed Pigpen. Franklin laughed when he saw what Pigpen was pointing at.

Sally waved to the two boys. On the other side of the table sat Snoopy with a bonnet on his head and a miserable look on his face. Apparently, no vulture impression on earth could destroy the infatuations of a little girl and her afternoon tea.

Franklin and Pigpen walked up to the table.

"Hello, boys. Would you like to have some tea?" Sally lifted up an empty toy tea pot.

"No thanks, but I'm sure Snoopy would like some," Franklin said. Both boys began laughing again. Snoopy gritted his teeth. He had to get out of here. And he knew just how to do it.

Quick as lightning, Snoopy stuck out his foot and tripped up Pigpen. Pigpen fell on his back, causing a massive cloud of dust. Franklin and Sally began coughing as Snoopy ran and ran until the sound of classical music slowed him down. Snoopy knew the music had to be coming from Schroeder's house. His piano was the perfect object to perch from. Within minutes, he was inside Schroeder's house.

Snoopy approached the piano just as Schroeder began playing Beethoven's "Fur Elise". Snoopy hopped up on the piano and began leering in Schroeder's direction. Schroeder abruptly stopped playing and sighed. "Must you do that here?" asked Schroeder. Snoopy just smirked and turned his back to him. Schroeder began playing again, but Snoopy's presence was messing up his playing. So, during a part of the song that was supposed to be played pianissimo (really soft), he hit one of the notes fortissimo (really loud.) This sent Snoopy flying across the room. Snoopy quickly got up, brushed himself, and hastily left the building.

Maybe he was going about this the wrong way, Snoopy thought to himself. Vultures didn't hang around low places like pianos and psychiatrist stands. They needed to be up high, so they could see their prey from above. Snoopy caught sight of a tree and clumsily climbed it. When he got to the first bough, he sat on it and got into his vulture pose just as Marcy and Peppermint Patty walked by.

"Hey, look Marcy! It's that funny lookin' kid with the big nose that's on our baseball team. Hey, kid!" 

Snoopy glared down at the two intruders.

"What do you think he's supposed to be, sir?" asked Marcy.

"I don't know. And stop calling me 'sir.'" answered Patty. After a moment she said, "I know! I'll bet he's pretending to be some type of animal, and we're supposed to guess what it is!" 

The two girls looked up at Snoopy with thoughtful expressions. 

"Maybe he's a squirrel," said Marcy.

"Or a bug," said Patty.

Snoopy rolled his eyes. How could they play this nonsensical game when he was trying to act like a vulture?

"He must be some type of bird, sir," said Marcy.

"A seagull? An owl? An eagle?" guessed Patty.

Snoopy was about to give up and leave when Patty suddenly declared, "I got it!" Finally, thought Snoopy. "You are......a penguin!"

Snoopy's paw whacked his forehead. He abruptly slid down the tree and walked away, steamed that these girls should mock his seriousness as a vulture.

"Hey, kid! Where are you going! Come back!" cried out Patty.

"Looks like you guessed right, sir," declared Marcy.

"Stop calling me 'sir."'

Snoopy climbed back up to his doghouse. He couldn't believe that no one could take his vulture impression seriously. He thought about taking out his typewriter, when suddenly he heard the soft flutter of wings in the distance. He looked and saw Woodstock flying towards him.

Snoopy smiled. Now he could have some real fun! Woodstock would see that he was a good vulture. Maybe Snoopy could jump him when he wasn't looking. Snoopy hunched over just as Woodstock landed on his dog house.

"| | | | | | | |," chirped Woodstock. The little yellow bird looked up at Snoopy and gasped. At the sound of the gasp, Snoopy smiled a little. He was scaring him! Just like a real vulture!

Woodstock actually gasped in shock. His friend was stooped over on the roof of his doghouse. His buggy eyes glared at him. His oversized nose hung down from his face, as well as his ears. Snoopy looked like an dog who was plotting revenge against the vet or something. In fact, the whole thing looked downright humorous!

Woodstock smiled. Then he giggled. Then he laughed out loud. Snoopy couldn't understand why, until he saw his reflection in one of the windows of Charlie Brown's house. Snoopy did look kind of ridiculous. Woodstock felt like he had overstayed his welcome anyway, so he flew off, still laughing at himself.

Snoopy scoffed at his friend's reaction. So what if his friend thought he looked funny? Big deal. The important thing was that Snoopy felt good about himself. When he pretended to be a vulture, he felt fierce. Powerful. Invincible. Nothing could beat him in strength. Nothing could...

Snoopy suddenly heard the flapping of large wings behind him. He turned around and gasped. The buzzards flying over his house earlier that day had returned. One of them had strayed away from the circle and was heading in Snoopy's direction! Even though the buzzard was still a considerable distance away, it was close enough, according to Snoopy. He was so startled by the large bird flying at him, that he let out a yelp of fear, jumped off his doghouse, ran across the yard at top speed, and slammed the back door behind him once he was inside. 

A few seconds later, Snoopy ran back into the yard and retrieved his supper dish that was still sitting on the ground in front of his doghouse. As soon as his paws grabbed the full supper dish, Snoopy looked up and froze. The buzzard was perched on his doghouse and looking down on him with hungry eyes. 

Three seconds later, Snoopy was fumbling with the interior lock on the back door. When he was sure that he was safe, he wiped the sweat from his forehead, and walked into the kitchen. Charlie Brown was eating his dinner.

"So, Snoopy, had a busy day?" he asked.

Snoopy just sighed with anguish and relief as he ate his dinner from his dog bowl. 


End file.
